That’s Quattrocchi. Yes, Q-U-A… Ah… Mrs. Q. is fine. Lorien is better. What? L-O-R…

THIS blogger perfectly summed up my feelings about changing my name.

“liz is changing her name. aargh. liz might be excessively angsty and neurotic about changing her name.

i had to think about it for ages. and ages. and ages. And then more. I got headaches. I got bitchy. I got pissed off at the massive historical patriarchy and at the way i wanted to be a feminist and that they might not think i was. I was annoyed at my parents for giving me four names in the first place that i couldn’t even use. I was annoyed at my mom for keeping her name and making me explain to every teacher and gym coach and school nurse that yes she’s my mom, and yes i lived with her, and yes she married my dad, and yes they’re still together, between pre-K and – well, people still get confused. I’m still annoyed that even if i kept my name, it’s not that i don’t have a man’s name because it’s not my husband’s, i just have my father’s and grandfather’s names instead. And those aren’t even the halves of the families i’m close to, you know? If i kept my dad’s name, it’s still not my grandmother’s name, so what’s the freaking point? And it’s not like it was hers to begin with, either. It’s men the whole way back. So how does it matter if i have this man’s name, or that man’s name, or the other one? And i got more pissed at the vast right-wing patriarchical conspiracy.

And i can’t use my name as-is, now, either, legally, it’s not on anything. Because it’s too freaking long. I lose an initial or an entire middle name, now, no matter what, at least, if i even get a space for even one middle initial or name in the first place. Nothing has both middle names on it. As in, nothing. So it’s mine but i can’t use it. i’ve never been able to use it. Like having a fantastic European cappucino machine that you can’t find electrical-plug converters for.

I can’t use my name as-is.
I might as well have a man’s name from a man that i chose for myself.”

I too, want to take this opportunity to rename myself in a way more condusive to fitting on a driver’s license and that will not confuse the gym coach of our future child/ren… and that involves me choosing — not required, bullied or raised-eybrow’d into taking — but CHOOSING to take my husband’s name.

My mad link skilz are obviously not up to par… here is the URL:

One thought on “That’s Quattrocchi. Yes, Q-U-A… Ah… Mrs. Q. is fine. Lorien is better. What? L-O-R…”

  1. Poor Lorien! Quattrocchi is almost certainly more difficult than Zwicker, and I get to give that up for Garnett. The only difficulty with that is “double t”… ah, convention. Thank goodness I only have one middle name, and it too is a Beatles song title… lucky me!
    So, it was fun calling you last night… we’re crazy, but you knew that already. We thought you two were crazy for moving in so soon but maybe we’ve taken the crazy crown off your hands… er, head?
    Anyway, keep in touch!
    The soon-to-be Mrs. Garnett

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *